This weekend we remember Valentine’s Day - the annual celebration of sexual love. But, we have a rather conflicted relationship with sexuality in our world today. On the one hand, sex is used for everything from entertainment to advertising, but on the other hand, we find it difficult to talk about sex openly and honestly. Nowhere is this conflict more clearly seen than in the Church.
I can’t help but wonder what the impact of this is on our worship. Now, you may be wondering what on earth sex and worship have to do with each other. Well, the Bible is very comfortable with using sexual language to speak about our relationship with God. For example:
And don’t you realize that if a man joins himself to a prostitute, he becomes one body with her? For the Scriptures say, “The two are united into one.” But the person who is joined to the Lord is one spirit with him. (1 Cor. 6:16,17 NLT)
“As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one.” (Eph.5:31-32 NLT)
In both cases, Paul compares our union with God to a sexual union. For Paul, there is a definite ‘erotic’ element to our worship. But, what does this mean for us?
The Greek New Testament has four words for love: ‘philea’ - the love of friends; ‘storge’ - affection; eros - sensual desire, or sexual love; and ‘agape’ - which is generally referred to as “God’s love”, but which more accurately expresses an unconditional, sacrificial love which puts the beloved first. To call only ‘agape’ God’s love, is to make a mistake. All love originates in God - even sexual love. And when we grasp this, we can begin to celebrate our sexuality as a God-given gift, not just for our human relationships, but also in our worship.
How is it possible to bring our sexuality into our worship? You’ll be glad to hear that I am not talking about temple prostitution, or religiously inspired orgies. But, I do believe that our worship engages every part of us, including our sexuality. Human sexuality is simply a language, a way of communicating, in which we become completely vulnerable and connected to another person. It is a doorway to losing ourselves in the deepest, most satisfying of relationships, and discovering the truth of who we are through honest, open interaction. The physical act of sex is simply a way to express the real union which happens on a spiritual level.
In the same way, worship is a language, a way of communicating with God, in which we become completely vulnerable, and in which we lose ourselves in the deepest, most honest and open interaction with God’s Spirit. The physical acts of singing, praying, kneeling, raising hands and receiving the sacraments are simply ways to express this union.
When we begin to understand this, we are able to enter worship with passion, with expectation, and with openness to the work of God’s Spirit among us. And, then, as in any genuine encounter with another, we will find ourselves truly transformed.
So, maybe this year, you can make Jesus your Valentine, too!
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John van de Laar is a Methodist minister, liturgical consultant and the author of the book Food for the Road – Life Lesson from the Lord’s Table. He holds a Master’s Degree in theology from UNISA, and is the founder of Sacredise.com, an international worship training and resourcing ministry. John is married to Debbie, and they have two sons.
Visit www.sacredise.com for more articles by John, as well as resources for personal and public worship – music, prayers, liturgies, images and drama scripts.