“If you forgive anyone's sins, they are forgiven. If you do not forgive them, they are not forgiven." John 20:23
One of the things I am most proud of, as a South African, is the Truth and Reconciliation Commission that was chaired by Archbishop Desmond Tutu shortly after our first democratic election. While it was not a cure-all for the struggles of our country, and it has been criticised in some circles, it did state loud and clear that a strong value in our nation is a belief in the power of forgiveness and it’s twin – absolution.
As much as the church of today appears to have lost some of its heritage of confession, it has also lost much of the practice of absolution that must accompany it. Confession is liberating and healing, and, by helping us to confront the darkness within us, it leads us to transformation. But, we do not become truly free until we know the joy of absolution. It can be an incredible thing to actually hear someone say, “you are forgiven” and know it to be true. It can change a life to have messed up and then discover that you have been released from carrying this burden for the rest of your life. When the weight of guilt and regret has been like a ball and chain, the lightness and joy when it falls away is a euphoric experience, and often leads us to promise ourselves that we won’t let it happen to us again. And so we are changed and made, not just whole, but better.
But, there’s another side to absolution. Receiving forgiveness is glorious, but giving it is even more so. When Jesus spoke about forgiving the sins of others, I’m not sure that he meant that for them their sin had disappeared. Many people who have been forgiven continue to face the consequences and guilt of their actions. But, when we forgive someone else, when we absolve another, they are forgiven for us. We no longer hold them accountable. We no longer require them to “fix things” for us. We no longer expect them to heal us or make us right. And this act of giving absolution is often the most liberating thing a human being can do.
Many people who have been harmed find it hard to forgive. We refuse to speak absolution to another because we feel that it somehow violates our sense of justice. It let’s them off the hook and does not punish them or make them pay for what they have done. But, what we forget, is that, as long as we hold the other person accountable, we have chained ourselves to them. Our lives remain tethered to theirs and our healing lies in their hands – which means that we will never be free or healed. Absolution, whatever it may or not do for the other person, is the key for us to return to life. When we absolve someone else, we break the chains that bind us, and we set ourselves free from the other person’s control, influence or ability to keep us from life.
And, when that happens, we discover that in our healing lies the healing of our world. When we become whole and free, then all the people with whom we are in relationship enjoy the life that we bring. This may or may not include the one who hurt us, but it doesn’t matter. As our healing touches others, so the life, the freedom and the joy that we have allowed ourselves to receive can flow out from us like ripples in a pond.
This is why we come to worship. We come to confess that we are broken and in need of healing and forgiveness. And we come to acknowledge that we need to forgive others. Then, as we give and receive absolution, we learn the practices of freedom – how to really live and how to bring life to others. Now, that’s Good News!
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John van de Laar is a Methodist minister, liturgical consultant and the author of the book Food for the Road – Life Lesson from the Lord’s Table. He holds a Master’s Degree in theology from UNISA, and is the founder of Sacredise.com, an international worship training and resourcing ministry. John is married to Debbie, and they have two sons.
Visit www.sacredise.com for more articles by John, as well as resources for personal and public worship – music, prayers, liturgies, images and drama scripts.