In the time of Oliver Cromwell in Britain, it was customary for noble people to be painted by portrait artists. Much like today’s obsession with airbrushing and “Photoshopping” images of celebrities and models, the painters would ignore any ‘blemishes’ in their subjects and paint them as they would look were those blemishes removed. Apparently, when Cromwell was sitting for his portrait, the artist began to paint him as he usually would, but then Cromwell, who was not the most beautiful person to have graced the planet, instructed the painter to paint him “warts and all”. The story goes that he insisted that every blemish be included in the painting or he would refuse to pay the artist for his work.
It still amazes me that when we gather for worship we so easily believe that we can present ourselves to God as an “airbrushed” version of ourselves. We may dress in special clothes, sanitise our language, and hide our fears and angers behind smiles and light banter, but we know the truth that lurks inside of us. It’s telling that these broken parts of ourselves, that bring us so much pain and rob us of so much life, are known as “skeletons in our cupboards”. As long as we pretend that we’re ok, as long as we hide our worst selves behind the façade of religious observance or pseudo-goodness, we remain broken and we find ourselves living a double life – saying, singing and praying one thing on Sunday and living a contradiction through the week. Such an existence is brings us neither healing nor true intimacy with God.
If we genuinely seek to live life to the full, and if we recognise that deep relationship with God is the key to this life, we cannot continue in this deception. Rather, we will find that we need to lay down our hypocrisy and become ruthlessly honest with ourselves, with others and with God. It is only when we are ready to face and deal with the truth about ourselves that we can embrace life in all its complexity and creativity and beauty and abundance. And this is why one of the most important – albeit difficult – disciplines in Christian worship is the practice of confession.
While in some churches confession has been formalised and ritualised, offering a safe and ongoing way to confront ourselves and the truth about our lives, it does not necessarily require this. In fact, each time we gather for worship we are (or should be) offered a chance to do this work. I have already written about how an encounter with God inevitably leads us to an honest encounter with ourselves. This is actually true of any genuine experience of intimacy, whether it’s with God or another human being. It is only as we allow others to get really close to us that they can reflect back to us the things in us that need to change – which may be why so many of us avoid intimacy at all costs. If however, we are courageous enough to take the risk of letting our true selves show – especially with God – we discover an amazing, healing, truth. We find that we are loved, appreciated and accepted – warts and all!
So, next time you are invited to spend time in confession try to resist the urge to run or to disengage until it’s over. Rather, seek to be honest with God about yourself – the good and the bad – and allow God’s grace to heal and change you. You’ll be so glad you did.
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John van de Laar is a Methodist minister, liturgical consultant and the author of the book Food for the Road – Life Lesson from the Lord’s Table. He holds a Master’s Degree in theology from UNISA, and is the founder of Sacredise.com, an international worship training and resourcing ministry. John is married to Debbie, and they have two sons.
Visit www.sacredise.com for more articles by John, as well as resources for personal and public worship – music, prayers, liturgies, images and drama scripts.