The story is told of the writer G.K. Chesterton who, after the Times newspaper had invited several authors to write essays on the theme “What’s Wrong With The World?”, responded with the shortest of replies: “Dear Sirs. I am. Sincerely yours. G.K. Chesterton.” It was both an amusing and deeply challenging comment. In a world in which it is common practice to speak about what is wrong with everyone else, Chesterton offered a refreshing and healing alternative, showing by example the power of looking within and facing the darkness we find there. Unfortunately, most of us prefer to ignore Chesterton’s wisdom and deal with our struggles a different way.
We have become highly skilled at analysing the world and its problems, and pointing out the reasons and causes for “the mess we’re in”. When our relationships break down it’s because the other person is inflexible or selfish and does not understand us. When things go wrong with our work life or our finances, it’s because we are not appreciated as we should be, or the world is against us. When our bodies break down, it is because others expect too much of us, or our doctors don’t know what they’re talking about. I recognise that there are genuine cases where relationship breakdowns are caused by a single, unloving partner, where people get into financial and employment difficulties through no fault of their own, and where sickness attacks us no matter how hard we have tried to be healthy. Yet it continues to fascinate me that some people will face the worst that life has to offer with an attitude of joy and courage, while others, who have little reason to complain, find every excuse under the sun to project the blame for their problems elsewhere.
In December of last year the Telegraph newspaper of the United Kingdom published a report that a mother of two from California was suing the fast food chain, McDonald’s, for using toys to sell their Happy Meals to children. Her complaint is essentially that the company is making it harder for her to say no to her children’s requests for unhealthy food. Seriously?
Yet, before I get too self-righteous, let me acknowledge that I often find it far easier to blame others than to take responsibility for my own struggles. It is much easier to look outward and criticise than it is to look inward and seek to change. This is why psychologists have long spoken about the human practice of “projection” – seeing and condemning in others what we don’t want to acknowledge in ourselves. Projection will never bring us wholeness. All it offers is destruction and despair. When we insist on projecting our darkness onto others, we discover our relationships breaking down, our lives getting out of control, and our health failing. This is not the pathway to life.
But, Christian tradition, long aware of the capacity of women and men for self-deception, has offered an alternative way to deal with our darkness. Rather than projecting it outward on to others, we are invited to face it, own it, and confess it. As the Apostle John wrote in his letter, “If we claim we have no sin, we are only fooling ourselves and not living in the truth. But if we confess our sins to Him, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness.” (1 John 1:8-9 NLT).
So, we are faced with a choice. Are we willing to do the painful and healing work of confession in order to find life? Or would we rather choose to deceive ourselves, and go on blaming the world for our unhappiness? The invitation of our worship is to choose confession and the life it brings. If we can find the courage and integrity to embrace this offer, we’ll discover that the freedom and grace we enjoy as a result makes every painful admission so very worth it.
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John van de Laar is a Methodist minister, liturgical consultant and the author of the book Food for the Road – Life Lesson from the Lord’s Table. He holds a Master’s Degree in theology from UNISA, and is the founder of Sacredise.com, an international worship training and resourcing ministry. John is married to Debbie, and they have two sons.
Visit www.sacredise.com for more articles by John, as well as resources for personal and public worship – music, prayers, liturgies, images and drama scripts.