Writer Charles Swindoll tells of a time in his life when he was particularly busy and stressed, working too hard and with too many commitments. One night as he was wolfing down his food before rushing out to another meeting, his daughter came to him and said, “Daddy, I want to tell you something, and I’ll tell you really fast.” Seeing her frustration, he responded, “You can tell me slowly, honey.” To which she replied, “Then, listen slowly.”
Listening is a significant human practice that is all too easy to forget. In a world that is filled with noise – background music in shopping malls and on our iPods, media playing always on TVs in restaurants, cars and homes, email, text messages and the internet always in our hands, traffic and the constant banging and blasting of construction sites all around us – we quickly learn to shut our ears, for the sake of our sanity if nothing else. But, in the process, we find that we stop listening.
True listening – not just hearing sounds, or words, but being attuned to their meaning, and being captured by their message – requires focussed attention, and we are all too easily distracted. True listening requires moving out of ourselves, and opening ourselves to another person, another reality, a different way of being. But, all too often we struggle to stay connected with ourselves, let alone with one another. And the impact of all this is being felt in our families, our relationships and our communities. When listening fails, people get isolated and suspicious of one another, society fragments and conflicts escalate out of control. Sometimes the most prophetic and healing thing we can do is just to be quiet and listen.
But, if listening is hard to do, it won’t come naturally to us. We will need to learn it – and it is a skill that can be learned. We need to move into practices and situations that challenge us to become focussed, that call us to stillness and that encourage us to open our ears and our hearts to our world, to others and to God. I can think of no better place to learn to listen than in the spiritual discipline of worship. Unfortunately, even our worship is too often allowed to become noisy and distracted. We fill the time and space with words and sounds, and, when silence does happen, we grow uncomfortable and even a little frightened. However, if we will heed the call to true listening, and if we will allow our worship to teach us, we can find renewed connection with ourselves, with others and with God.
How does worship teach us to listen? There are a number of ways it does this. To begin with, as we enter a worship gathering we discover very quickly that our agendas have very little place. The whole orientation of worship is toward a different reality, to a higher purpose and to a new way of being. Our role is not to demand or direct, but to submit, to open ourselves and to receive. This is the first lesson in listening – to release our agenda, and open ourselves to what may come.
The second way that worship teaches us to listen is through silence. In some traditions silence plays very little role, but more and more churches are discovering the benefits and blessings of incorporating times of silence into the worship gathering. When we allow our worship to be less ‘noisy’ and less ‘wordy’ and make more space for stillness and silence, we learn to listen for the ‘still, small voice’ of God, and we grow increasingly aware of the whisperings of God’s Spirit.
Finally, while I recognise the valid criticism of much of worship’s non-conversational nature, and while I recognise the need to allow people to participate and add their voice to the worship experience, the fact that we are sometimes forced to stop talking, to stop adding our viewpoint, and to just listen – whether to a prayer, a hymn or a sermon – teaches us the discipline, and the joy, of listening.
If we have the humility and the courage to allow worship to challenge and change us, we will find that these practices lead us into a new ability in, and appreciation for, listening. And, once we have begun to listen more and better, we will discover again the healing that comes from deep connection with God and others, and that is found in rediscovering our true selves.
__________
John van de Laar is a Methodist minister, liturgical consultant and the author of the book Food for the Road – Life Lesson from the Lord’s Table. He holds a Master’s Degree in theology from UNISA, and is the founder of Sacredise.com, an international worship training and resourcing ministry. John is married to Debbie, and they have two sons.
Visit www.sacredise.com for more articles by John, as well as resources for personal and public worship – music, prayers, liturgies, images and drama scripts.