“I am so lucky! I have a job, wonderful friends, and my faithful guide dog to lead me around. I am so very grateful!” These words were spoken during a radio interview by a blind woman who had clearly learned what gratitude means. In contrast, a recent study revealed that the group of people most likely to feel deprived and longing for more is the so-called “middle class” – those who have much, but tend to watch the wealthy folk around them with envy, and, as a result, fail to recognise what they have. Gratitude, it seems, does not always collate with our circumstances.
One of the features of the 21st century world is the culture of accumulation. Our whole society is oriented around the desire to have more. Linked with this is what seems to be a growing sense of entitlement among people in the developed world. We don’t need gratitude for what we have, because we believe on some level that the world owes us a “good life”. Whatever plenty we may possess is not enjoyed, but expected, and whatever we think we lack is a failure on the part of the universe to give us what we “deserve”. And so we fall, all too easily, into a cycle of complaining, bemoaning what we don’t have, and ignoring the abundance that surrounds us.
I wonder, for example, whether we would have landed in the economic crisis of the last few years if we had developed a culture of generosity and gratitude, rather than accumulation and expectation in the western world. I wonder whether the “happiness quotient” of people in developed countries would be higher if we spent less time striving for more stuff, and more time enjoying and sharing the stuff we already have. I wonder whether, in some not-so-mysterious way, the contentment I wrote about last week, is to be found in the twin disciplines of thanksgiving and generosity.
Saying thank you is a good and important practice – both in spirituality and in human relationships. But, it can often feel like it’s not enough. The words are too easy to say, but to try and repay whatever gift we’re thankful for can diminish the gift and seem like an insult to the giver. This is where generosity is such a powerful practice – and one of the reasons why giving is such a significant act of worship.
I’m reminded of the movie “Pay It Forward” in which people, who have received some gift from another – often a stranger – are told not to try and repay the gift, but to “pay it forward”, to do something else to benefit three other people as a way of expressing gratitude for what has been received. This principle reveals a basic truth – giving and thanksgiving are inseparable. The glory of developing a lifestyle of giving and thanksgiving is that we find ourselves becoming increasingly aware of the goodness, the beauty, the truth and the abundance in our lives. And, as we share our plenty with others, through simple, daily acts of giving, we increase abundance and wealth all around us. They key, though, is to give mindfully – not thoughtlessly, just checking a box on a list or salving our conscience, but with a real concern for what the other person actually needs, and what gift will most benefit them.
All the great faith traditions of the world have robust teachings about giving. All the great spiritual teachers have recognised that it is not having that brings joy and fulfilment, but enjoyment. There are those who have much, but, through their lack of enjoyment, will always be poor, and there are those who have little, but through their capacity to enjoy, will always be wealthy. The best way to develop the ability to fully and intentionally enjoy the gifts we have been given is to give them away – to practice thanksgiving through generosity, and to share the abundance with others.
This is why, whenever followers of Christ gather for worship, we take up an offering. In practicing the discipline of giving, we are opening ourselves to the gift of enjoyment and abundance, and we are saying “thank you” in the most profound way. And then we inevitably learn the truth of the Scripture that says, “It is more blessed to give than to receive.” (Acts 20:35)
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John van de Laar is a Methodist minister, liturgical consultant and the author of the book Food for the Road – Life Lesson from the Lord’s Table. He holds a Master’s Degree in theology from UNISA, and is the founder of Sacredise.com, an international worship training and resourcing ministry. John is married to Debbie, and they have two sons.
Visit www.sacredise.com for more articles by John, as well as resources for personal and public worship – music, prayers, liturgies, images and drama scripts.